


Stealth Texting

by uniquepov



Category: Lewis (TV)
Genre: M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-28
Updated: 2013-08-28
Packaged: 2017-12-24 22:44:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/945538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uniquepov/pseuds/uniquepov
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James introduces Robbie to the concept of sexting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stealth Texting

**Author's Note:**

>  
> 
> [ ](http://s1116.photobucket.com/user/lorcalon/media/stealth%20texting/messagebanner.png.html)  
> 
> 
> **Author's Note:** Complete fluff and nonsense written for the Lewis_Challenge Summer Challenge 2013. Set post S-6, but not S-7 compliant. Many, many thanks to fire_juggler, lindenharp, and wendymr for the cheerleading, handholding, suggestions, and beta services. I continued to tinker, as one does, and so all remaining errors are mine alone. 

The mobile in Robbie’s pocket buzzed, and he jumped. He could see James smirking out of the corner of his eye, and Robbie shot him a dirty look, which fazed his partner not one whit.

“Oi, you. Keep your mind on your own desk and never mind what’s happening at mine,” Robbie grumbled half-heartedly. 

James snapped to attention and saluted him. “Yes, sir.” 

Robbie sighed and turned his attention back to his mobile, which buzzed a second time as he fumbled with the unlock code. Bloody IT security procedures. He’d protested loudly when Innocent had announced they were all being issued smartphones - _to facilitate improved communication amongst the department_ \- and poor Gurdip had nearly pulled his hair out trying to show Robbie how to work the thing, until James had taken pity on them both and offered to set the phone up himself. Gurdip had headed back to his own desk with almost indecent haste. Robbie huffed at the memory, and his phone buzzed a third time. He finally unlocked the bloody thing and saw three unread texts, all from his sergeant.

Who was sitting not three feet away from him.

“James, what the -?” The question died in his throat as he looked up to see James watching him with a carefully blank expression. James gave a slow, deliberate nod in the direction of the mobile, then turned back to his computer and began typing as though the Chief Super were standing over his shoulder.

Brow furrowing, Robbie turned back to his mobile and scrolled through the three new text messages.

[ ](http://s1116.photobucket.com/user/lorcalon/media/stealth%20texting/message1.png.html)

Robbie felt his cheeks reddening.

“James.”

Robbie got up, closing the door to their shared office before turning to look at James, leaning his back against the wooden surface and levelling an exasperated glare at his partner, who looked up at him, blinking owlishly. 

“Sir?”

Robbie gestured towards his mobile, lying on top of his desk. “Care to explain that?”

“Explain what?”

Robbie huffed again. “Why you felt the need to send me a text when we’re sat in the same office?”

James’ eyes widened in mock innocence. “Are you suggesting that I would deliberately commandeer police resources for personal use?”

Robbie quirked an eyebrow at him, head tilted to the side, and waited.

“Didn’t you like them?” James asked after a moment.

“Like them?” Robbie spluttered. “I think you’re missing the point, man!”

“No, sir,” James began, giving him a look that Robbie could only categorise as _bedroom eyes_. “But I’m afraid _you_ are.”

“James-“

“Robbie,” James interrupted. “It’s just in fun. It’s _flirting_. Relax. Enjoy it.”

“You couldn’t have just – you know, _flirted_ \- out loud? In person?”

“And risk someone overhearing?” James’ expression belonged on a sainthood medallion. “That would be inappropriate conduct between officers.”

“So is everything we did last night,” Robbie pointed out with a wry grin.

“Everything we did at home, while _off duty,_ ” James corrected, “is not subject to the same restrictions as our on duty behaviour.”

“There is that,” Robbie admitted.

“Hence the… stealth.”

“Stealth? Texting is stealth?”

“No one but you knows what those texts said,” James told him. “Are you planning to show them to anyone?”

“Don’t be daft.”

“In that case, unless you’re planning to report me to the Chief Super for misconduct, I think we’re in the clear.”

“Can I report you for insubordination?”

“Only if you’re willing to risk my counter-reporting you for sexual harassment.”

“It’s not harassment if you enjoy it.”

“… I find myself at a rare loss for words.”

“I seem to have that effect on you. As I recall, I rendered you pretty speechless last night as well.”

James flashed him the bright, unguarded grin that Robbie had learned was only ever directed at him. “That’s the spirit.”

Giving a low chuckle, Robbie opened the door to their office again and returned his attention to his own paperwork.

*************************

Robbie’s mobile vibrated in the middle of Innocent’s senior officers’ briefing. Surreptitiously, he pulled it out of his pocket and checked the display.

[ ](http://s1116.photobucket.com/user/lorcalon/media/stealth%20texting/message2.png.html)

Robbie could feel his face reddening as he quickly cleared the display and deleted the message. Underneath the table, he tapped out a reply.

[ ](http://s1116.photobucket.com/user/lorcalon/media/stealth%20texting/message3.png.html)

“Robbie? Something you’d like to share with the rest of us?”

Robbie’s head snapped up to meet Innocent’s gaze.

“Sorry, ma’am. No. Just answering some questions from me team.”

Innocent rolled her eyes and turned back to the briefing.

[ ](http://s1116.photobucket.com/user/lorcalon/media/stealth%20texting/message4.png.html)

Robbie hit _send_ and determinedly thumbed the power button and slipped the phone back into his pocket.

*************************

[ ](http://s1116.photobucket.com/user/lorcalon/media/stealth%20texting/message5.png.html)

Robbie’s mobile buzzed again.

[ ](http://s1116.photobucket.com/user/lorcalon/media/stealth%20texting/message6.png.html)

Robbie quirked an eyebrow.

[ ](http://s1116.photobucket.com/user/lorcalon/media/stealth%20texting/message7.png.html)

Robbie chuckled, leaning back in his chair as he contemplated his response.

[ ](http://s1116.photobucket.com/user/lorcalon/media/stealth%20texting/message8b.png.html)

*************************

James was getting in another round when Robbie decided to turn the tables.

[ ](http://s1116.photobucket.com/user/lorcalon/media/stealth%20texting/message9.png.html)

Robbie watched James pull the mobile from his pocket and literally double-take at the display. His head snapped up to meet Robbie’s eyes, and Robbie lifted his empty glass in salute.

James made his way back and set the pints on the tabletop. “Very original.”

“I could have invited you to come up and see me etchings.”

James nearly choked on his pint. “Please tell me you did not just say that.”

“You have a better one?”

“You could try sexting.”

“Sexteen?”

“Like phone sex, only via text. Hence, ‘sexting’.”

“No sext, please, we’re British.”

This time, James did choke on his pint, spluttering as he set the glass back on the table and glaring balefully at Robbie.

“Sorry, lad. Guess you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.”

*************************

Robbie and James were sitting on the sofa, James’ feet in Robbie’s lap, watching Stephen Fry and Alan Davies banter on QI, when James’ mobile buzzed.

[ ](http://s1116.photobucket.com/user/lorcalon/media/stealth%20texting/message10.png.html)

The corner of James’s mouth quirked upwards and he brushed his foot against Robbie’s thighs. Robbie’s mobile buzzed.

[ ](http://s1116.photobucket.com/user/lorcalon/media/stealth%20texting/message11.png.html)

Robbie put down his mobile and ran a hand up James’s leg. “Fancy a shag?”

James laughed outright. “Well, I suppose that’s better than rumpy-pumpy.”

Robbie huffed. “Are you going to mock me about that forever?”

“That’s my current plan, yes.”

“Come on, then, pet. Let me show you the benefits of experience.” James quirked an eyebrow at that, and Robbie smiled in return. “Perhaps this old dog can learn a few new tricks after all, eh?”

“No complaints so far,” was James’s reply, as he stood, holding out his hand to Robbie to pull him off the sofa and towards the bedroom.

“I’ve got one,” Robbie said, digging in his heels and pulling James to a stop.

“Oh? What’s that?”

“Leave that bloody phone behind.” Robbie’s voice was a low growl as he fished James’s mobile from his trouser pocket and tossed it onto the sofa. “I’ll make sure you have something better in your hands in a tic.”

Robbie grinned as James practically hauled him the rest of the way down the hall.


End file.
